Friday Fun Love: Weekend To Remember

I think we all want a weekend to remember in our marriage, don't we? Creating memories is my favorite part of my marriage. Unfortunately for some marriages, the memories we create are not always good. When I get older and look back on my life, I want to be able to say that I had more great moments in my marriage than bad. The truth is, sometimes creating great memories take more effort. Let's not grow lazy in our relationships, instead let's be proactive. A great way to start is by signing up for a Weekend To Remember event. My husband and I have attended a few of these events and each time we are amazed at the outcome. Each time we grow closer together, we discover new things about each other, we get to have time away to focus on each other and escape from life for a bit. Your relationship is worth taking time for!

For more information on the Weekend to Remember events, check out the website below

http://www.familylife.com/events/featured-events/weekend-to-remember

Friday Fun Love: How to Fight Fair

What I have noticed over the course of 6 years of marriage is that how you fight is the life and breath of a relationship. Let's be honest, EVERY couple fights or has disagreements. If you don't, then someone in the relationship is not being themselves. As a result, it can lead to one spouse always giving in to the other spouse, which they will eventually have enough of that and blow up one-day.

Since we know we all fight...then how to do fight in a way that won't be damaging to the relationship? Well here are some of the tips I have learned from books and or learning the hard way.

- Don't say YOU, always say I or me. Example, "You always do this" Instead say "When this happens, it makes me feel____". By approaching things this way, it will allow your spouse an opportunity to respond instead of feeling attacked. Men typically will shut down when they feel attacked. If you want your husband to respond to you and engage in the conversation, then make sure you are using your words wisely.

-Try to stop and think for a second... is this fight really worth jeopardizing the health of our relationship? Half the time we fight because we get emotionally charged about something. If we would take a second to really think about what we are fighting about, we would realize maybe it is just best to let it go. Being right is not always what is right for the relationship.

-Watch the tone in your voice. It is hard for the fight to turn into yelling if one spouse stays calm. If you start to raise your voice then your spouse will counter that by raising their voice even higher. Before long, you both won't be able to hear what you are even saying. Yelling turns into anger and anger turns into things being said that you don't mean. Once this happens, it can be VERY dangerous for the relationship. It is best to try and stay calm and talk about how you feel instead of yell it. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

It all comes down to taking the emotion out of the moment and trying to think logical about the situation (instead of acting out based on how we feel). I know that is hard to do sometimes but it is like anything else, if we practice a lot at it then eventually we will become better at it. That logical reaction will become more of our forefront thought in the heat of the moment.

Just remember, the goal of our relationships is to grow closer together not apart. So everything you do either brings you one step closer or one step further apart.

Friday Fun Love- “The 5 love languages”

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Since my husband is a Marriage and Family Therapist, he knows a lot about relationships and the right steps to take to maintain them. We read a lot of marriage books; attend a lot of workshops and couple retreats. We get asked questions all the time, so I thought I would start sharing our experiences and information with you.

Joe and Tosha Clemens

Have you ever heard of the book, “The five love languages”? It is my favorite relationship book. I think because it personally affected me the most out of any book I have read. When Joe and I first got married, I noticed something was bothering me about our relationship but I couldn't put a finger on it. After reading the book, I realized that the issue was that we weren't fulfilling each other’s love language. Let me explain a little bit more about what this means….We all have a primary way that we want to receive love as well as how we give love. Sometimes the way you show it and the way you give it is the same and sometimes it is different.  For me, I enjoy showing love to my husband by physically touch, a kiss, a hug and holding hands. I like to receive love by him giving me words of affirmation. Example, him telling me he loves me. I need to hear the words, not assume that I should already know. Or in the beginning of our marriage, he would show me he loved me by doing things for me, “acts of service”.  Like, washing my car or taking out the trash. Don’t get me wrong, I love those things but those are just added bonuses, what I really need is him to tell me how he feels verbally.

If you feel like you would like to take your relationship to the next level and develop real intimacy then I would highly recommend reading this book.  To give you a better idea, you will learn about these 5 languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, quality time and acts of service. After reading it, you will discover that we all need all of these in our relationship but one will stick out to you more than the others, and you will also discover the same for your spouse. Marriage can be a beautiful thing as long as we are willing to work for it! 

See below for the book and for more information see the website below:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Nitty Gritty Fashion- New Name, New direction

This site will continue to be focused on fashion, I am just dedicating more time to the site and adding new exciting topics. The new format is listed below

Monday Moment s Inside :  

“Behind the scenes”, showcasing someone in the fashion industry, giving you a better look into the world of fashion. 

Tuesday Treasures:  

Showcasing must have products, items on sale, what is trendy and where to shop.

Wednesday Wardrobe:  

A look into my style, my inspiration and my closet.

Thursday Thoughts: 

Showcasing what is going on in the fashion industry, events, designer highlights and fashion shows.

Friday Fun Love:

The new addition to the site is the relationship column. Since my husband is a Marriage and Family Therapist, we have learned a lot about relationships and I am excited to start sharing that information with you!